The memorial service for James Copeland is going to be Saturday March 30th on 129th and 7th Avenue at the Salem Baptist Church from 1 to 3. We will reenact the Matt Talbot Funeral Service midway during The Memorial. Hope to see many of you there.

Where Are You

An omnipotent, all knowing, all seeing G*d asked a mortal man in a garden of forever; (3:10) And the Lord God called Adam and said to him, Adam, where are you?

“Adam, Where are you”, as this mortal man tried to hide himself from The Almighty.

Often ‘knowing’ where we are requires the use of a map or device to guide us when we go off track.

The thing with maps, and other devices is this: they only work when actively used.

A map at night is useless without some form of light; and a GPS needs a clear view of the sky, and charged batteries to work. A navigator needs to see the position of the sun and the moon and some stars to work out his position.

So too with the Steps; and in particular Step 4.

Step 4 has been my personal road map of growth. It’s review let’s me know when I am off course; in unchartered lands or in known charted and documented dangerous waters.

When I use it that is…

Like the time 14 years ago when I found myself snuggly encased in a motor vehicle being driven to Slander Island by a driver hell bent on educating his captivate audience on the merits and shortcomings of one who was not present.
The driver, who had much more time than me, began to list, in an anonymous way, the character defects of ‘this tall slim Dr., with a large office on Block Y, and two beautiful young female progeny, with the fat wife, and a practice at hospital Z …
The driver never named the Dr. but I ‘knew’ who they were talking about.

Gossip and fallacious ruinous rumors were high on my 4th Step list back then, and still are when I care to get honest … So knowing who I was, ‘then’, made it easier for me to exit that darkened cave for the soothing light of reason at the next intersection.

That was 14 years ago.

Yesterday I spent 2 hours on a phone call whose stated purpose was to ‘educate’ me on the benign dictatorship of a member of one of the groups I attend.

Yesterday I listened attentively and greedily to every sordid detail of this persons infidelity, stumbling attempts at control, bad child rearing skills, and grab for more power than any human aught to have.

I love gossip. Especially when it’s flavored by my essential greatness and it’s pointed out how much ‘better’ than the accused I really am.

Then my map fell out of the hidden compartment nestled behind my heart, SPLAT! Opening to Step 4 where I read gossipy, power hungry, malicious, grandiose, irritable, restless and discontent.

(3:11) And he said to Him, I heard Your voice as You walked in the garden, and I feared because I was naked and I hid myself.

I was hidden behind my fig leave of self-delusion, haughtiness, and schandenfreude – the delight in another’s misfortune.
The prideful canopy of grand verdure above my head prevented me from seeing the night sky and getting my bearings.
The batteries for my GPS were uncharged and dead. I was lost.

It took a night of introspection for I have learned that the diligent practice of the 10th Step every day reinforces that character defects quickly became damned obvious on a daily basis.

Where are You my friend, in your Recovery process?
10. Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong promptly admitted it.

This step has absolutely no connection with step #4. Note, in step #4, it calls for a searching and fearless Moral  inventory. This step calls for a personal  inventory. This step is our daily check on ourselves.

At night, after you are in bed and the day is over; review your day and pray.

Think about your day, what you have done, who you were with and what has transpired. If you find something that you are not proud of apologize. Do not permit these things to go unattended.

It is not the so-called “big” things which seriously affect the alcoholic in their new life, but the “little” things.

Diligent practice of the 10th every day reinforces that character defects quickly became damned obvious on a daily basis.

Admitting a wrong is difficult

We have entered the world of the Spirit. Our next function is to grow in understanding and effectiveness. This is not an overnight matter. It should continue for our lifetime.

Continue to watch for selfishness, dishonesty, resentment, and fear. When these crop up, we ask God at once to remove them. We discuss them with someone immediately and make amends quickly if we have harmed anyone.

And we have ceased fighting anything or anyone – even alcohol. For by this time sanity will have returned. We will seldom be interested in liquor. If tempted, we recoil from it as from a hot flame. We react sanely and normally.

That is the miracle of it.

We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition.

To some extent we have become God-conscious. We have begun to develop this vital sixth sense.

Hopes Alive Inc. uses the power of artistic creations to reach the hearts and minds of the people, we believe that while a lecture and/or workshop is a great tool for awareness and prevention education; music, contemporary dance, mime, praise dance, reggae, rap and all other genres is a magnificent tool in reaching the citizenry and helping them to understand the consequences of negative behaviors.

Hopes Alive Inc. produces “The Phoenix Chronicles” Each one representing a social issue that most of us encounter. Through theatre performances we show the adversity and the spiritual journey that takes us to the other side.

Workshops on HIV and drug use prevention education through lecture interwoven with monologues, poetry, rap and reggae. An annual two hour educational production on social issues. (Props, lighting, tech. costume etc.)

The Adherence Step Program was inspired by the Twelve Step concept of Alcoholics Anonymous; and Narcotics Anonymous. It teaches a spiritual way of living that allows the individual to live one day at a time, one pill at a time. The program focuses on adherence; learning how to “stick too” a medicine regimen as well as all plans and decisions that one has made for change.

Hopes Alive, Inc. also conducts disclosure presentations. We believe that by conducting these presentations on living with HIV we put a face to HIV/AIDS which help young people to come face to face with the reality of HIV. These presentations also help the HIV positive individual to gain better acceptance and coping skills through disclosure. Hopes Alive, Inc. recruits only those who are well skilled in disclosure and who acquire a sense of fulfillment from conducting these presentations.

Health education conducted through theatrical performances.
Materials include basic HIV/AIDS 101 information and education on drug use prevention; performance materials include poetry like “The Drug War”, “Vampire Drug Dealer” and “Mr. Crack”. Monologue “The Killer” (the talking virus), “There are many people who are living with HIV”. Reggae “Marijuana” (taking a ride on the neighborhood slide), “Road Runner”, (the addict). Rap “What you do today, you will pay for it tomorrow”.

We conduct theatrical performances on drugs and alcohol; how it relates to manageability and how it relates to acquiring HIV/AIDS

Visit HopesAlive Inc for additional information

In this pamphlet, we learn to identify the infantile King Baby ego within us. Our Childish personality traits must be surrendered before our disease can be fully arrested. the compulsive King Baby personality can accelerate addiction or lead to relapse….

King babies share a wide range of personality traits. None of us has all these traits, but we will probably find many that describe us. King Babies may show these Characteristics.

• Often become angry or afraid of authority figures and will attempt to work them against each other in order to get their own way
• seek approval and frequently lose their own identities in the process
• able to make good first impression but unable to follow through
• have difficulty accepting personal criticism and become threatened and angry when criticized
• have addictive personalities and are driven to extremes
• are often immobilized by anger and frustration and are rarely satisfied
• are usually lonely even when surrounded by people
• are chronic complainers who blame others for what is wrong in their lives
• feel unappreciated and think they don’t fit
• see the world as a jungle filled with selfish people who aren’t there for them
• see everything as a catastrophe, a life or death satiation
• judge life in absolutes: black and white, right and wrong
• live in the past, fearful of the future
• have strong feeling of dependence and exaggerated fears of abandonment
• fear failure and rejections and don’t try new things that they might not do well
• are obsessed with money and material things
• dream big plans and schemes and have little ability to make them happen
• cannot tolerate illness in themselves or others
• prefer to charm superiors and intimidate subordinates
• believe rules and laws are for others, not for themselves
• often become addicted to excitement, life in the fast lane
• hold emotional pain within and lose touch with their feelings

A King Baby copes with life’s difficulties and trials by refusing to accept them and instead focuses on selfish needs and desires. He doesn’t take responsibility for his actions and is always looking for the next reason to laugh and have fun — no matter what the expense.

A person with King Baby syndrome can be fun to be around for a period of time, but he is not able to be a good long-term friend because the moment somebody needs something from him, he looks for an escape. Many people who have King Baby syndrome have chemical dependencies and addictions to drugs and alcohol because of how they help them remove themselves from difficult or unpleasant situations.

It is difficult for a King Baby to move out of this role given the fact that he perceives so many advantages to not needing to worry about life. Those who enable a King Baby simply make it harder for him to want to become a productive adult.

White heroin addicts get overdose treatment, rehabilitation and reincorporation, a system that will be there for them again and again and again. Black drug users got jail cells and “Just Say No.”

Ekow N. Yankah is a professor at the Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law at Yeshiva University.

When Addiction Has a White Face

The Power of Having An Accountability Partner

The idea of being held accountable by someone else so as to achieve your goals is not a new concept as most people who are truly successful always engage the services of an accountability partner. Such a partner takes the role of a mentor and a trusted confidant whom you can trust to provide guidance and the motivation required to forge ahead. They do not set goals for you but serves to assist you in achieving them.

To help you keep motivated and committed to your plans, it is recommended that you seek out a partner whose sole purpose is to keep you on the right path and provide you with support and wisdom you require along the journey. It can be a friend, relative or a co-worker. Find a person who can resonate with and whom you can learn from.

The Power of Having an Accountability Partner

The partner will help you when you are failing to reach your potential. They will tell you when you are resting too much and when you are lying to yourself. They will call you out and help you remain on your toes. They will act as test groups, sounding boards and gatekeepers that will keep asking you exactly where you stand with your goals.

Another benefit of having an accountability partner is that you become motivated towards achieving your goals. Willpower is an essential tool towards success. Unfortunately, it becomes fatigued, and once it does, it can no longer be reliable. A partner who is invested in you can help you raise your spirits and make the right choices to help you keep on course.

The person should also be able to confide their goals in you. Accountability should always be a reciprocal process. Even when it’s for different targets, you should offer similar benefits as they are providing to you. Learn about their goals, and be their accountability partner. These partners are an important resource in your path to improvement, and should, therefore, be treated with high levels of gratitude.

The partners are good for idea sharing, brainstorming and promoting creativity. They will come with different experiences, ideas and perspectives that will assist you in overcoming your challenges and obstacles. Being able to be creative and brainstorm with another person committed to helping you solve your problems is among the greatest benefit you will from your partner.

The bottom line is that if you are always struggling with succeeding in certain areas of your life, consider getting an accountability partner who can help you solve problems and overcome challenges.

Resisting Your temptations

Temptations are part and parcel of our lives. None of us is a stranger to temptations. The difference is how every one of us responds to such live threatening challenges. In the life we are living today, it is much hard to live a life that is void of temptations. However, temptations differ based on situations, circumstances or environment you are in. Temptations only become sins only when you enter into it.

How do you resist temptations?

Avoiding dangerous and provocative situations

Needless to say, it is important to avoid challenging situations. If you have to avoid being tempted to do something, you must try as much as possible to keep off from situations, environment, or circumstances that can lead you to sins. For instance, it is dangerous for unmarried couples, of opposite sex, to stay together in one room. Though it is not a sin, they might be tempted to sin, making love and such. We are all human beings with feelings. If you are trying to stop taking alcohol, you must avoid going to clubs, bars or restaurant where alcohol is sold. Again, you must avoid flirting with other people if you do not want cheat on your partner.

Right company

The company that we have matters a lot. It can lead us to do evil without knowing. For instance, if you never want take drugs, you have to avoid the company of drug peddlers and users. Though you will try to be hard at the start of it all, the truth is that you will be tempted to taste and slowly by slowly you become a peddler. Therefore, you must choose your company wisely. Be in a group that will not lead you to temptations of doing what to do what you do not want at all.

Be occupied

When we are idle, we get ourselves doing things that we later come to regret. Therefore, if possible, ensure you are busy doing constructive things. A busy mind will not have room for crazy thinking.

Think and meditate on long-term consequences of your gratification.

When you want something, first try to think about the immediate or long-term consequences. For example, if you tempted to fall in love with a second partner, you need to think about the long-term repercussions. You will hurt you long term partner when he /she comes to know about it. You will damage the trust your partner has for you, and you may even lose the relationship for that temporary affair.

5 Effective ways to Stay Motivated When You Are In a Slump

It is pretty obvious that experiencing slumps is quite upsetting and everyone can experience it at any time. This kind of situation makes you feel unmotivated. If you are in such circumstances, maybe you have struggled to break out of it and you are unable, then you don’t have to worry. There are ways in which you can get motivated in your life.

Below are the effective ways to get motivated:

1. Accept the slump
It is important to accept the tumble. This is the key point that you should note for you to stay motivated. The best thing is to try not to expect much and bear in mind that there are downswings in life. If you accept the fact that you are in a tumble, then you will be able to encourage yourself and stay motivated.

2. Take Action
One you have fully accepted this slump, you will be able to take action because before it happened, you had goals to accomplish. At this point, you can ignore the downswing and move on. Try to accomplish all the goals that you had planned and you will definitely feel motivated. Taking an action will make you feel better.

3. Avoid Over- thinking
When you are in a slump it is obvious that you will think deeply. The best advice is to avoid such excessive negative thoughts in your mind. Thinking too much may even lead to mental health issues such as depression. You can simply try to forget what happened and move on with your present plans.

4. Start Afresh and Reward Yourself
A slump may sometimes affect your capability to work but this doesn’t mean that you will quit. The right thing to do is to start afresh and do away with your current routine that caused the downswing. If you start a new, work hard and then reward yourself for you to stay motivated.

5. Learn from successful people
Achieving a goal is not as simple as it may sound. Many successful people have a long story to tell and you should learn from them. Keep in mind that their success had some downturn. So you are not the only one. Use all of their stories to motivate yourself in your daily activities keeping in mind that you must succeed. Work hard to improve your productivity. Don’t let the tumble win you.

If you really want to motivate yourself, having a positive mind will make you move forward.The aforementioned ways will greatly help you to break out of the tumble and stay motivated.